There and Back Again

Happy Sabbath from Haiti Adventist Hospital. It’s good to be back. Words can’t describe my experience over the past ten days…here’s an attempt.

Walking into the airport in Miami was one of the more overwhelming experiences I’ve had. I “smelled” America as soon as I was off the plane. The things that immediately hit me were the excess space, so many reflective surfaces (windows, mirrors, etc), and climate control. As I continued through the airport I was making list in my head of things I didn’t realize I missed while in Haiti: familiar smells, seeing people of all different ethnicities, being able to walk fast without getting stared at, speaking English, being able to move freely, and of course flushing toilet paper.
But thing I missed the most was my family and friends. I experienced pure joy when unsuspecting loved ones would realize that I was there when they thought I was thousands of miles away. Seeing the looks on their faces was a priceless experience. Welcome back/I missed you hugs are the best! Half-hearted apologies to everyone for not telling you that I was coming back [whole-hearted apology to Angela Mae Payaban, I admit, that was kinda messed up, you love me though].
When I wasn’t surprising people I got to: eat… a lot (Guppy’s, Kogi, Del Taco, In-n-Out, pancakes at midnight, and everything that was cooked/made at home), worship, catch up on TV shows, watch the NBA finals (IN ENGLISH), watch an improv show, watch Ironman 2, have meaningful conversations with people I haven’t seen in a long time (special thanks to everyone who listened), talk loooooooong into the morning, play basketball (after 8 weeks of inactivity I can still dunk. FTW!), play Frisbee, play football on the beach, and go to RAA and RHS graduation.

[Shout out to all the 2010 graduates! Proud of you guys! LSU grads sorry I can’t be there tomorrow.]

I’m grateful that I’ve been able to see so many loved ones, eat a lot, and sleep…some, but every rose has thorns. “How was Haiti?” has become a dreaded phrase. I know it’s an innocent conversation started, but when it’s asked three things pop into my mind:

1. READ MY BLOG!!!!!! [thank you]
2. That’s a bad question: Asking in past tense is incorrect because Haiti still exists, and the answer to that question is probably not what you’re looking for. Your question is probably, “How was your experience in Haiti?” But even that is still incredibly vague. An answer I’ve crafted has been, “I'd say things are peachy, but that'd be a bold face lie. It’s been a struggle, but I'm learning, growing, God's working, and I have found joy and contentment.” That statement is 100% true, but it doesn’t tell the whole story. I could add, “And it’d be SOOOOOOOOO much better if people started living out their faith.” But I don’t, it makes people feel guilty and that’s not why they asked, we’ll get to that later.
3. Why are you asking? Do you really want to know? Do you really care about Haiti or me…or neither? Are you just asking out of obligation? Are you prepared to have a life-altering conversation? Are you ready to feel super guilty? Do I really want to have this conversation right now? It’s hard to articulate everything. This next paragraph is attempt.

Haiti IS really bad. There are hungry people, thirsty people, sick people, homeless people, and worst of all hopeless, directionless people. I’ve been disgusted/disturbed/sickened by is the lack of care people have for the suffering of their fellow humans. Just because you can’t see the suffering doesn’t mean it’s not happening. I’ve felt a lot of anger over that last week; anger directed at family, friends, people in America in general. Not so much now, those emotions are still in me somewhere but the gravity of the situation/task at hand is my focus now. I’m sure they’ll resurface 11 weeks from now when I return home. With a few thousand miles as a buffer zone, all I’ll say now is: America really is the land of opportunity; capitalism sucks, but communism won’t work either (another discussion for another time); you are soooooooo incredibly blessed/fortunate/lucky/whatever-you-want-to-call-it, and it’s not fair; “Christians” (and people in general, MYSELF INCLUDED) are so incredibly selfish/self-center/greedy it’s sordid (SAT word!) they DON’T love their neighbors as themselves, they’re picky with their food when there are people who won’t eat today, they complain about homework when there are people who don’t have the opportunity to be educated, they gripe their jobs when people have no way of providing for their families. they live in lavishly decorated homes and worship in ridiculously expensive churches when there are people who don’t have a tarp or tent to shield them from the rain, they spend obscene amounts of time AND money worrying about their “image” while people don’t…. well you get the point, you can rationalize this however you want, rationalizing is something we’ve become really good at it, but those truths remain. I realize that people in America also face legitimate problems, but they’re a different class of problems. I’m pretty sure you sleep in a bed with a roof over your head and you have the ability to eat three solid meals a day. The ex-psychology major in me knows that stuff like food, water, and basic health necessities are the foundation on Maslow’s hierarchy of needs. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Maslow's_hierarchy_of_needs) And if you’re going to discount Maslow check out the fundamental human needs according to Max-neef and others http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fundamental_human_needs (this isn’t a research paper, in this instance I herby deem Wikipedia a credible source). I think I’ve said it before, but I’ll say it again: nothing in itself is bad, it’s all about context. For example everyone would agree driving a car isn’t a bad thing. Driving a car while intoxicated is because it puts people in unnecessary danger, right? So let’s try this. Wearing pants isn’t a bad thing. Spending $200 on True Religion (sweet irony) jeans when you could buy $15 jeans from Costco and cover someone’s living expenses for months with the $185 left over….just saying. And finally to those of you who have reminded me that I can’t change the world, I know, but I can change my part little part of it and if you’re reading this blog, you’re part of my world. So knowing what you know, what are you gonna do? (exhales)

Honestly I didn’t mean for that to sound angry. I know many people from many places read this blog and everyone interprets it differently. Please read past the (perceived) anger and take the deeper meaning. If you wanna talk about it comment, email (drharris0823@gmail.com), or get in touch with me somehow.

(As the members of Team Sinai would say)

Shabbat Shalom